Riddle me this

I have some questions I would like to present to all my many readers, these are things I, although extremely intelligent, have not been able to figure out.



1. Why do people think they can just eat/take whatever they want in the fridge at work? I don't mind sharing (as long as it's on a very limited basis), but what I do mind is people thinking that the salad dressing or crackers or pretzels are there for community consumption. Um, did you buy those? No, you didn't and do you know what that means? That means someone else did, and that someone is me so stop eating my shit bitch.



2. People that drive slow in the left hand lane. Have you ever driven before, don't they teach you to get out of my way when you take your driving test? The left lane is for going fast. And, the thing that really gets me are the people that get pissed off when I have to honk and yell at them. Why do people do this? Why do people think that just because they have a car they can drive like crap and act like no one else is on the road?



3. Why can Outlook never work properly EVER?



4. Why are my contacts always always always fuck up, and my eyes are wonky wonky wonky? I seriously have the most f'ed up eyes ever. Why cant I just have regular eyes?



5. Why cant the sub ladies at Harris Teeter make subs right? I'm sorry isn't that your job to make a freaking sub? I love turkey and I love when turkey sandwiches are $2.49, so naturally I go to Harris Teeter on Tuesdays and get the $2.49 sub, and by 'I go" I mean I send my intern to go. But my intern is home sick today aka hungover so I had to go to Harris Teeter, and it was a horrible experience. Is it really that hard to make a sub I don't think so. P.S. I'm pretty certain I've bitched about shitty sub making before, it's very important to me.

and last but not least Why haven't I been able to find someone yet that wants to just give me money because I'm cute?

People, people, people

First thing is first to all my thousands of readers pictures of my brother as promised.

Second, I would like to address how freaking annoying it is when someone has an issue with you and instead of actually addressing it with you they decide to bitch about it to someone else. Bitch if you have a problem with something I said or did man up and say something to me about it. Case in point my friend, lets call him Shmuce tends to get really really drunk and sketch out and we all know this and we love him and that's ok, because that's what he does, so we all make sure to look out for Shmuce because heaven knows where he would end up if we didnt. So Shmuce was wearing a hat last night and this hat ended up on another girl's head, so around whatever time it was I cant find Shmuce so I ask the girl that is wearing his hat, lets call her Bitch 1 where Shmuce is and she responds with "who", I repeat the question she again responds with "who" and is getting a little pissy and I point to the hat and say "Shmuce the guy whose hat you are wearing, do you know where he is?" and "she's like oh, yeah no." Now I'm sorry but if you are wearing someone's hat and oh yeah have been hanging out with this person all damn night shouldnt you at least know who the fuck they are. At this point I realize Shmuce has probably peaced out to go do how knows what, so I decided to walk up to her and just take the hat, cause I dont like her. Now, I do realize that this probably wasnt the most mature thing to do, but I did it and I'd do it again.

So after this Bitch 1's sister Bitch 2 decides to call my friend and bitch about what I did. Um, I'm sorry are we in fifth grade do you really feel the need to tattle-tell on me? If you have a problem with something I said or did then address it with me not our mutual friend. FUCK. Sorry that just really makes me mad. Is it really neccessary to drag someone else into something as stupid as me taking a hat off your bitch sister's head. No, and the thing that gets me is that's such a stupid girl move. Hence the reason most of my friends are dudes, because guys dont play that shit. I cant deal with all that stupid drama.

Ugh, whatevs. Have a happy weekend!

CONGRATULATIONS!

My little brother is graduating high school today and I'm slightly freaking out for various reasons, but that's neither here nor there. It's a short post today with the sole purposes of wishing my bubba Congratulations. I LOVE YOU ROSS! I'm so proud of you and wish the world for you. You are truly a wonderful person, I couldnt have asked for a better brother.

P.S. I was going to add some pictures, but the damn thing wont work.

Raise Your Hand if You are a Loser

FYI, my hand is raised. There are many different ways to be a loser, you can have no friends and stay home every single night of your life, you can play dungeons and dragons, you can wear heeleys and be over the age of 9 (j/k, or am I), you can be unfunny, you can not like to drink, or you can be like me and be a 24 year old workaholohic. This is nothing new I have been a workaholohic since basically forever, and I'm ready for a change. I wouldn't mind being a workaholohic if I had this really cool really amazing job that I loved going to every single day, or if i was doing something that actually made a difference a real difference, but I don't have either one of those. Don't get me wrong my job can be really cool, two weeks ago I did 300 person cocktail reception and dinner at the Statue of Liberty, last October I did a Gala with the First Lady in NYC, last week I was on a call with the Secretary of the Department of the Interior; but overall I don't find satisfaction in my job. Perhaps it is because I have been here for 7 years, and I am only 24 and naturally ready for a change. Honestly I get bored with dating someone after 3 months and I have been with the same company for 7 years.

So the question now is "what am i going to do to fix this situation?", and honestly I don't know. I am moving to NYC which is huge, because I have lived in Chucktizzle my whole life so that is a start, but the next logical answer to my problem is finding a new job and that is so scary. I know, I know I'm a loser. Most people that are 24 aren't this attached to their jobs, most 24 year olds can pack up and leave at the drop of a hat, are travelling the country side, are actually living their lives, but not me, because I am a 24 year old workaholohic and have a weird attachment to my job.

Ok this is what we are going to do people, I want each one of you to find me a job; something fun, something fab, something challenging, something that allows me to feel like I'm actually doing something good for mankind, and hopefully one of the thousands of offers I will get will hopefully help me turn my frown upside down and be happy with what I am doing. Please and thank you.