Riddle me this

I have some questions I would like to present to all my many readers, these are things I, although extremely intelligent, have not been able to figure out.



1. Why do people think they can just eat/take whatever they want in the fridge at work? I don't mind sharing (as long as it's on a very limited basis), but what I do mind is people thinking that the salad dressing or crackers or pretzels are there for community consumption. Um, did you buy those? No, you didn't and do you know what that means? That means someone else did, and that someone is me so stop eating my shit bitch.



2. People that drive slow in the left hand lane. Have you ever driven before, don't they teach you to get out of my way when you take your driving test? The left lane is for going fast. And, the thing that really gets me are the people that get pissed off when I have to honk and yell at them. Why do people do this? Why do people think that just because they have a car they can drive like crap and act like no one else is on the road?



3. Why can Outlook never work properly EVER?



4. Why are my contacts always always always fuck up, and my eyes are wonky wonky wonky? I seriously have the most f'ed up eyes ever. Why cant I just have regular eyes?



5. Why cant the sub ladies at Harris Teeter make subs right? I'm sorry isn't that your job to make a freaking sub? I love turkey and I love when turkey sandwiches are $2.49, so naturally I go to Harris Teeter on Tuesdays and get the $2.49 sub, and by 'I go" I mean I send my intern to go. But my intern is home sick today aka hungover so I had to go to Harris Teeter, and it was a horrible experience. Is it really that hard to make a sub I don't think so. P.S. I'm pretty certain I've bitched about shitty sub making before, it's very important to me.

and last but not least Why haven't I been able to find someone yet that wants to just give me money because I'm cute?