i'm so sorry

Heeeeeellllllooooooooo blogging community. I've just realized that when I started this blog I promised to regale you with stories of my drunken experiences complete with enough curse words to make a sailor blush, and I have fallen down on my promise to my avid readers, and for this I'm sorry. In order to right this wrong I'm going to the vault and I'm pulling out a Sarah Pittman original. A story that embodies all that I am.


One night about a year - year and a half ago (I always think events are a year - year and a half in the past) a bunch of us decided to go to Torch a local Martinee ("Is that a Martinee?" Sweet Home Alabama anyone no just me ok back to my story) bar, where the drinks are awesome way over priced but awesome and strong as all get out. Well we are hanging out doing are thing you know whatever whatever. And by the end of the night I've had any where from 5-12 drinks. So 2am aka closing time roles around and everyone says their goodbyes and Ashley and I make our way to her car, and oh wait oh no what is this feeling that has come over me ah yes I have to pee. Of course I didn't have to pee 2 minutes ago, but I have to go now and there is no waiting. So I cop a squat on the side of the road to the side of Ashley's car, because when you are squatting beside a car you become invisible. I bet you didn't know that, but it's true so remind that kiddies. Any who so I'm squatting peeing and Ashley's laughing working look out and she feels it most important to warn me that I'm about to pee on myself, now I ask you who wouldn't find that to be the funniest statement ever? Well I did and I lost my balance and fell forward peeing all over my jeans. Obviously I couldn't ride home in my pee pants so the only logical thing to do was take them off and ride home in the front seat of Ashley's car butt-ass-naked from the waist down. Classy is typcially how I refer to myself, thank you.

Now I know what you are thinking, oh Sarah you are so silly that story is so good how could it get any better? Well it does. So we get back to Ashley's and she gives me a change of clothes because no one wants a naked Sarah running around. So I change and boy did I work up an appetite changing my clothes. So I precede to raid her refrigerator and when she comes out she finds me sitting Indian style in front of the refrigerator the room only illuminated by the light from the fridge, because I was being sneaky. I'm stuffing my face with turkey just stuffing it. I've got turkey all over my face all over my shirt all over my new clean pants, and she basically has to drag me away from the fridge and from the turkey that is her roommates, her mean roommates, and then I passed out. See I told you it got better.

I will leave you with that, I know everyone has an extremely elevated opinion of me after reading that truly wonderful story please do leave comments. I was recently informed that you are a "loser" if you don't have more than 8 comments per blog and I don't know if anyone has noticed, but my average is like 1 1/2 so send this on to everyone you know and maybe they will leave me comments and I can stop being "socially inept"